I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
