I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
