Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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