I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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