just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
