he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
