I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I lost the right to judge tonight
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
