So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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