Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
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