Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
