Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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