shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
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