If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
