dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
