So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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