White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
