I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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