From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
