Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
