he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize