I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
