I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
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but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
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He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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