She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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