I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
