You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
they're like a gay fantastic four
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
