doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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