I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how drunk are you?
Several
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize