yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
