Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
