Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
