the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
soo... how was my night?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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