Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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