The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
