it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
We are two peas in an std pod
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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