so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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