is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
