Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Blow job season was short but glorious.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
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