No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
