He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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