somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
The Olympian is in my bed
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
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