I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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