new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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