This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
