Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Randomize
