not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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