Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize