Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
