Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
