I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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