Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
