She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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