The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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