All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
this will be a night to untag.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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