the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
