Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
