hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I love having hate sex.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
