We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
