i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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