R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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