sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
