What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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