Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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