Already got asked if we're dating
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
