Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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