So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Randomize
