just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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