he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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